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Welcome!

I don’t know exactly how to start this introduction, so I’ll jump right into it! I go by IffyBiffy for two reasons: 1) A big part of the Username was a nickname my Mimi used to call me 2) and I’m almost always Iffy about something! I’m totally up for sharing about my problems with anxiety and the constant fight to keep my dark clouds away! Don’t be afraid to reach out to talk about either! 🙂

Here’s a piece from my dad’s old blog~

I’m trying to work on this darn book and it’s driving me insane not having internet. I want to research and find this book my dad wrote and supposedly published if my memory serves correctly. This would be such a wonderful time to have internet considering I can’t really go anywhere. I’m gonna try my best to keep at it. In the meantime, check out this silly post my dad made on his blog back from 1996. He created a website for my twin brother and I while we grew in our mom’s tummy. It was a funny little website and I found some comfort in reading it. The website is no longer available but I still have downloads to look at.

The context of this is that he took mom to the hospital for excessive vomiting and while in the waiting room, this occurred:

Keeping fingers crossed for the time being

My fingers are starting to feel funny but that’s not the point. Anyway, the person I work for is trying to take care of their employees. I just had to fill out a form to get some money in if we have to close down. Hours are looking pretty bad. I’ve had roughly 10 hours in the first 3 days of this week. I’m hoping for at least 15.

My poor roommate was being scared by some information given to her by one of our friends and she’s already worried she wont be able to help with bills because her job has pretty much stopped giving her hours considering it’s a restaurant. I’m hoping things go okay but right now I’m just taking it one day at a time.

My first ABC poem!

An anxious situation
Back to biting my lips again
Can’t stand the habit and, yet,
Don’t know when I started it
Eventually, my lip starts to bleed
Family is still unhappy
Gotta fix the problem, now!
He is busy and I need to hurry
I have finally fixed the situation!
Just thankful he’s happy
Kept me on my toes and, yet,
Lip has finally stopped bleeding

3-20-20

This whole Coronavirus thing is out here really having the audacity to ruin lives. Excuse me ‘Rona, but I need money for bills and by the way, the hotel dead as fuck. We haven’t had a lot of check ins lately. Mostly, they come from the outside work. One of them hit on me, I think. He’s got a wife and kids; I’m assuming since he was with a woman and referred to her as mom to one of the 2 kids, he had with him. Usually husbands or wives do that while aunts and uncles, etc., say “Your mom” or something along those lines. Either way, I’m a bit uncomfortable but maybe I was wrong and he wasn’t flirting a little too hard. One of my coworkers, maintenance dude, who overheard our conversation while he was working on our computers in the business center said he was flirting. Anyway, I’m glad I finally typed that down cuz it has been bugging me since I saw the woman and kids with him.

My schedule is all wonky because they had to shut breakfast down and make to-go bags for everyone. I won’t even have any front desk shifts next week because bossman was told to cut some hours. I should be fine with this upcoming paycheck but next paycheck, depending on how the week after next go, might be crap. I was given a number and a website to go this morning for financial help because millions of people across the globe are experiencing financial need because of the virus.

I feel like that’s all we are talking about these days, too. It’s getting tiresome but, for some reason, talking about something else seems wrong. The virus is making a pretty serious impact on everyone these days. My friend from Maine is stuck in Peru with her mom and can’t get back to Maine and Ana was almost stuck here, in Alabama, but her flight back to Florida was just delayed.

Speaking of Ana, I had quite a fun memory made the other day. Her dad invited me over to eat steaks with them and afterward Ana took me on the four-wheeler. Little John went on the fast one and Ana and I went on the one with 2-wheel drive. Thing is, we saw a puddle that we really wanted to go through but turns out the puddle was pretty much a mini lake cuz my left leg sunk just past my knees when the four-wheeler’s back left tire sunk into the water. It was low-key nerve wracking but oddly fun to get really muddy and have the three of us push it out. Somehow, we got it unstuck and finally got home. My shoes are goners but they were my least good pair and easily replaceable so nothing really lost.

I really need to go to sleep but I accidentally napped, twice, so now I’m more awake. I have to be at work tomorrow at 6am. It’s 11pm right now so I won’t be getting much fluid sleep tonight. 

3-15-20

I guess I should comment on the whole Coronavirus thing. So far, Alabama hasn’t had too many cases but I’m not really sure if its cuz no one in their right mind would go to Alabama or people just aren’t really being tested. Anyway, I’m noticing a change in our number of guests at work because of this.

Also my cat just randomly licked my dog’s side and Alfie, said dog, just shot me his “Help me, mommy. I’m uncomfortable” eyes.

So, anyway, work has been slower and fewer people are coming down to get breakfast. Tomorrow we- my cat just jumped into my arms- will have the least amount of guests I’ve ever worked with if there isn’t a bunch of walk-ins. I’ve been told that a lot of graduations are being canceled which does not bode well for those seniors and their families but also for work. Graduations are one of our busiest times. Well, that and football season is even busier. Thankfully, this doesn’t mean I’ll be getting less shifts unless we close down. The positions I work are meant for a single person, maybe 2 if we are busy and I don’t think that’s going to be a worry for right now-fingers crossed at least.

Anyway, there isn’t much else to update on, aside from that. I get to enjoy this weather, at least. Peace out!

Attempting to write my semicolon story

I’ve always thought about writing about a time when I was lowest in my life. Maybe it could help me. Maybe it will most likely make others worry as I have not spoken of this experience. Said experience has been a few years in the past but I know it still haunts me. I’ve created lies around it so others won’t know what really happened but I’m hoping no one will take that personally. I’m just a bit (a lot) ashamed of that time in my life.

Wish me luck

3-6-20

I’m really going to enjoy this next paycheck coming up on the 13th. I haven’t looked to see how many hours I’ve worked, exactly, but I know it’s roughly 10 more hours than usual. I’m hoping to attempt a few more hours before Sunday, which is the cut off date for hours on this paycheck. Maybe if I make enough money, I can pay off my credit card, pay the late trash bill, and still get that tattoo with Ana, my best friend in the whole wide world. I’d love to get everything settled but I’m not holding my breath until I see how many hours in total I’ve worked. What does that phrase even mean? “Don’t hold your breath.” Who even came up with that?

Anyway, I worked about 10 hours today, 6 being Breakfast Attendant and 4 being for Housekeeping. For breakfast, I tried to keep focused on making sure everything was stocked because, for the love of god, one of my coworkers had barely filled a thing. She’s been so spotty, lately. She barely cleans completely and the pans that you’re supposed to keep full or close to it, are usually empty when she works. Guests are gonna start complaining if she doesn’t pick up her slack. Bossman, a few coworkers, and I have had to get on to her about her laziness.

And lately, housekeeping has been having these massive amounts of rooms for very few housekeepers. Every time one is hired, it seems like 2 quit. I figured I’d kill 2 birds with one stone (now that phrase I can understand-ish) and get more hours while taking on some rooms. The housekeeping assistant manager, gave me 5 rooms from her long-ass stash on the MOP app. The MOP app is where everyone goes to know what rooms they are assigned, whether it’s just to refresh a guest that’s staying over, clean a checked out room, or do a full clean which is basically like a mix of the previous two and it’s meant for guest that have been there for more than 3 days and are still staying over. Well, towards the end of my 4th room, the housekeeping assistant manager came in to give me some towels and rags and we talked more on that previously mentioned coworker’s work ethic. She commented that she could tell when I wasn’t doing breakfast because of how dirty the kitchen would be. I admitted that I’d spent most of my free time trying to wipe everything down with my sanitizer rag because there was much residue from where she hadn’t been cleaning as she went. I tried telling the coworker that earlier because things are just easier if you clean as you go but I’m really doubting she will listen or “remember” and since she once asked me to mop the kitchen for her while I was doing a front desk shift I’m ready to assume she’s just lazy. I’d told her no and it reminded me that she once said she doesn’t like being told no, but oh well. I had my lobby to mop and she had her kitchen to mop. Anyways, during my last room I was leaning over the toilet to clean it and my phone decided it wanted to attempt to swim in germ infested waters. I panicked but remembered reading that I needed to take the battery out and anything else connected to it, dry them off and don’t immediately attempt to turn the device on. I didn’t have any rice, so I wrapped it in one of our rags from the hotel and finished up. I felt so panicky and when I finally made it home, I attempted to avoid turning my phone on but the anxiety of not knowing if I was going to have to buy another phone before the end of this phone’s first service plan was killing my stomach. After about an hour I cracked and made sure everything was dry before putting the battery back in. I didn’t even have to use the power button as the phone lit up and has, so far, been working fine. Granted, the speakers are quiet and both camera lenses have condensation in them, but that’s a small price to pay for a working phone.

Anyway, I need to head to bed. It’s getting late and I have to be up by 430 in the morning. Gross.

3-6-20

I’m really going to enjoy this next paycheck coming up on the 13th. I haven’t looked to see how many hours I’ve worked, exactly, but I know it’s roughly 10 more hours than usual. I’m hoping to attempt a few more hours before Sunday, which is the cut off date for hours on this paycheck. Maybe if I make enough money, I can pay off my credit card, pay the late trash bill, and still get that tattoo with Ana, my best friend in the whole wide world. I’d love to get everything settled but I’m not holding my breath until I see how many hours in total I’ve worked. What does that phrase even mean? “Don’t hold your breath.” Who even came up with that?

Anyway, I worked about 10 hours today, 6 being Breakfast Attendant and 4 being for Housekeeping. For breakfast, I tried to keep focused on making sure everything was stocked because, for the love of god, one of my coworkers had barely filled a thing. She’s been so spotty, lately. She barely cleans completely and the pans that you’re supposed to keep full or close to it, are usually empty when she works. Guests are gonna start complaining if she doesn’t pick up her slack. Bossman, a few coworkers, and I have had to get on to her about her laziness.

And lately, housekeeping has been having these massive amounts of rooms for very few housekeepers. Every time one is hired, it seems like 2 quit. I figured I’d kill 2 birds with one stone (now that phrase I can understand-ish) and get more hours while taking on some rooms. The housekeeping assistant manager, gave me 5 rooms from her long-ass stash on the MOP app. The MOP app is where everyone goes to know what rooms they are assigned, whether it’s just to refresh a guest that’s staying over, clean a checked out room, or do a full clean which is basically like a mix of the previous two and it’s meant for guest that have been there for more than 3 days and are still staying over. Well, towards the end of my 4th room, the housekeeping assistant manager came in to give me some towels and rags and we talked more on that previously mentioned coworker’s work ethic. She commented that she could tell when I wasn’t doing breakfast because of how dirty the kitchen would be. I admitted that I’d spent most of my free time trying to wipe everything down with my sanitizer rag because there was much residue from where she hadn’t been cleaning as she went. I tried telling the coworker that earlier because things are just easier if you clean as you go but I’m really doubting she will listen or “remember” and since she once asked me to mop the kitchen for her while I was doing a front desk shift I’m ready to assume she’s just lazy. I’d told her no and it reminded me that she once said she doesn’t like being told no, but oh well. I had my lobby to mop and she had her kitchen to mop. Anyways, during my last room I was leaning over the toilet to clean it and my phone decided it wanted to attempt to swim in germ infested waters. I panicked but remembered reading that I needed to take the battery out and anything else connected to it, dry them off and don’t immediately attempt to turn the device on. I didn’t have any rice, so I wrapped it in one of our rags from the hotel and finished up. I felt so panicky and when I finally made it home, I attempted to avoid turning my phone on but the anxiety of not knowing if I was going to have to buy another phone before the end of this phone’s first service plan was killing my stomach. After about an hour I cracked and made sure everything was dry before putting the battery back in. I didn’t even have to use the power button as the phone lit up and has, so far, been working fine. Granted, the speakers are quiet and both camera lenses have condensation in them, but that’s a small price to pay for a working phone.

Anyway, I need to head to bed. It’s getting late and I have to be up by 430 in the morning. Gross.