Sad Story 1: Part 2

Just in case you missed it or can’t find it, Part 1 is here: https://iffybiffy.blog/2019/08/25/sad-story-1-part-1/

To recap: Part one covered the events of November to January and I forgot to mention that In September I started work at a Thai & Vietnamese restaurant while simultaneously going to school as a full time student and working at the bowling alley but eventually quit within the first week of January. Now for Part 2 as follows:

Part 1 concludes January and there are no notable events for February.

In March, my cat-Angie- passed away and the next week my grandpa passed away on the 8th- which is also my eldest sister’s birthday. I’ve had Angie since I was 6 years old along with 2 other cats that passed away in 2010 and 2012. Years ago our mother was a reserve soldier for the Army and was stationed in Afghanistan for 10 years, during that time she was raised primarily by our grandpa so this hit her the worst since he was the person she was closest to in life. I wasn’t there for her when he passed, I was back at home already. My only upside for March is that I got to visit my brother (also a story for another time with our amazing adventures included) for a few days before coming home and going back to Chicago a week later for the funeral. I met oodles full of relatives I didn’t recognize or know, but because I’m my mother’s child and they all know her, they knew me or of me or met me as a baby. After the funeral, I sat alone in the next room over which was the sanctuary where I continued to cry and think about my relationship with him and how I wished I could have been a better communicator and called more often to tell him I loved him. I was there for almost an hour- mostly because the family didn’t see me enter the room and were searching for me but I didn’t have a cell signal to get their messages to reply (whoops).

April went by about as smoothly as it could go aside that I was having a terrible academic semester. This whole spring semester was so difficult trying to keep up with my work and assignments, depending on the day and how much there is to clean I wouldn’t get home from the bowling alley until 1 – 2:30 AM after working since 5 PM and then having an 8 AM class to get to after I got home. I missed a lot of classes because I slept through my alarms and I couldn’t keep up with nearly any of the assignments coming my way. Even getting to class was difficult because most of the city is filled with tow away zones and the rest are student parking lots and I never bought a student parking pass because I couldn’t afford it and it was too late in the year to me to bother purchasing one since I wouldn’t have it long. Regularly on M/W/F I had a 10 AM class and afterwards had a Spanish ON THE OTHER SIDE OF CAMPUS and a 10 minute break to get there. No matter how early I left my first lesson and my Spanish teacher giving me a 5 minute grace period, I was still a couple minutes late and the tardies kept building up against me leaving me with more and more “unexcused absences”. I practically ran to class if I couldn’t find a campus bike to borrow on the way and even more exhausted by the time I got there ad breaking a sweat.

It’s May and my grades are almost as low as they can be with Fs and Ds that I didn’t tell my parents about. The last few weeks I tried to withdraw or dropout from my classes but missed the “Withdrawl with a W” and no grade penalty date by a couple days and my adviser just told me to do the best I can and try to finish strong. At this point, there is no amount of bonus work that I could possibly do to even barely pass any of my classes. Instead, I emailed my teachers and told them I would no longer attend and would be dropping out and not attending finals. Some offered help, but I saw it futile and passed it off. There was still nearly 2 weeks left of classes but I had already attended what I could before I just had to give up.

I did fairly well my first semester, but as I kept going, my will to succeed academically didn’t seem to really fit my needs to build the career path I want. Then and now I need to be working and school was hindering me more than helping. I wasn’t even in a major that could help me. The major I wanted didn’t allow any one in without an audition, but my trade school didn’t have of the classes I truly needed and there was no one there to help tutor me and I didn’t have a car to get where I needed to have private lessons to keep up so I ended up not being able to touch the instrument I play for 2 years and by the time I got to my University I knew I wouldn’t be able to dare compete in the auditions for a spot because my skills wouldn’t be where they should be so I took up Creative Writing. It was the only other major that I had enough of the classes completed and looked the cheapest to follow if I could just take more core classes vs major’s classes to get my associate’s at the least since I didn’t have enough credits to get the degree at my trade school (this was because a class I took was shortly closed out due to lack of students enrolled but closed out after the drop/add date and the other class I needed wasn’t offered that semester with a couple others).

The rest will be covered in Part 3 to present.

-Nickie G.

Published by nickieg98

5" 5 Pisces March 16, '98 Blood Type (?)

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