Yay it’s story time! Maybe this could be considered Sad Story 2 part 1? … Naaaah.
Here’s a little background before we begin:
No one knows me better than myself and I like to consider myself an ambivert. I don’t feel completely like an extrovert or an introvert. My closest friends haven’t seen nearly half of the”introvert” moments I’ve had compared to the “extrovert”. I’ve always spent a lot of time alone being calm and quiet relaxing in my safe place(s) and I get pretty shy at times. But, when I was growing up (and sometimes even now) it was/is super easy to get me excited and hyped up and crazy with off-the-charts energy.
This was because I didn’t have enough activities and wasn’t allowed nearly enough time to exhaust all my energy and completely express myself (my parents were really strict and sheltered me a lot). I was always kinda jittery and restless like an antsy 5 y/o at the candy store because of this (or at least that’s how I felt others saw me). With me acting this way, a lot of people around me thought I had ADHD. Some friends still do to this day.
Bottom line: I don’t and I know I don’t.
I see so many articles all the time for people that are introverted and ways for them to get out of their comfort zone as well as memes about them being dragged by their extrovert friend into what ever situation that lead to their current friend group. This is unfair to do. You don’t have to have crazy amounts of energy or be around a lot of people a ot of the time to enjoy yourself. Now, that doesn’t mean it’s okay to be by yourself 100% of the time as this can become a severe issue. You do need human interaction- yes your pet is sweet and lovable and enough company for you but this isn’t the same experience as being with another human being.
Instead of forcing our friends into a situation they don’t want to be in, let’s make their surroundings more comfortable.
- Your introvert friend probably likes to be left alone. If you think they spend too much time by themselves- relax in the same room with them. Read a book in the opposite corner of the room or put on some head phones. You can be in the same room as your friend a take a nap for all they care and that would be just fine. It can be comforting to know you’re not the only person in a room and that someone you enjoy having around is present. If your friend wants to talk to you, they will. Just chill with them. Maybe just watch some netflix or hulu.
- Find plenty of activities that you can burn your energy on. I was in my high school marching band. It helped me discipline and condition my body and pick up good habits. It also gave me an incentive to not have the shittiest grades in my classes. Try exercising or just going for a run when you wake up.
- Start a relaxing everyday routine. Go get a massage or have a spa day. Try an herbal bat or just go and soak for a while surrounded by your favorite scented candles. You could take time out of your day to meditate or try yoga. Just give yourself enough time everyday to think about yourself and not other people. Worry about your problems and not others- you cannot please everyone. Take this time to truly reflect. Do you have any personal issues going on that you should probably put more thought into before things get into a situation you can’t return from? Is there anything you need to remember for the day and should jot down in a notebook? Are you interested in taking up a new hobby like working with miniature figurines or cooking/baking?
- Go on journeys by yourself. Go for a drive or see a new nearby town/city you haven’t been to before. Go to places you haven’t been before like antique shops or different cafes or anything you wouldn’t typically go to. If you’re able to, go visit someone you’ve been thinking about but haven’t seen in a while (besides your introvert friend who we are trying to give some space to breath). Check up on your other friends.
- If you absolutely have to be around other people and be out having the time of your life- find some friends that are in the same boat as you; friends that are also very outgoing and exciting to be around. Just socializing can help burn some energy.
- Understand NO. Your friend won’t always want to go out on the town with you or maybe they don’t like being tickled. But when NO or STOP comes in to play, then you should stop and let them do their own thing. Your friend is their own person after all.
- If you fidget or need to fiddle with something often, I actually recommend fidget cubes and fidget spinners. They are honestly great anxiety reducing gadgets that I love to distract myself with. If I have my cube in my person and I’m feeling nervous, I just keep it in my hand and play with it until I calm down and get something to drink.
- *edit #1* Self control is important. I used to scare away a lot of people that I could have been really great friends with because I was too hyper all the time so it pushed them away. At times it’s hard to control myself because I’ll be so excited or worked up about something, but you have to control yourself. Whenever I visit my friends and I know their other friends will be around, I do my best to stay as collected as I can so that I don’t push away those other people. I want to be friends with my best friend’s friends and so should you. I’m a lot better now about my self control that I was just a few years ago, but I still have my moments where I’m a little too intense. But that’s okay. It’s alright to let it out from time to time. Just not all the time.
I’ve been working on this for a week or two now but I might revise this article occasionally if I have anything else to add. Comment below if there’s anything you want to see added or discussed here!
-Nickie G. over and out!