3-2-20

I’ve always known that I have pretty bad anxiety over important events, work, breaking any kind of code, any kind of closeness, money, and time. I’m especially anxious when it comes to time. That’s why, I would love the ability to control time. It seems like a wonderful way to control all of the thingsContinue reading “3-2-20”

Are we all just making it until we get to whatever we’re looking forward to?

Sometimes when I’m really stressed or upset, I like to think about something to look forward to. When I worked at McDonalds back in 2016, I used to imagine my drive back home and I’d get all excited and it helped get me through the day. I’ve done this so much that I gotta wonderContinue reading “Are we all just making it until we get to whatever we’re looking forward to?”

Acting may not be my strong suit but boy is it fun!

My friend Nigel from NERDtorch is making a whole ass movie! And it looks legit! If you want to, you can check out his insta @nitrohotfire. He’s been posting vlogs of behind the scenes about said movie under his Vampire film story. He’s also got a few sneak peak shots that look pretty fly. HehContinue reading “Acting may not be my strong suit but boy is it fun!”

Spontaneously Terrible Things

Spontaneously terrible things Have kept me up at night They fill my head with dread And No one knows when they’ll happen Or if they’ll happen Spontaneously terrible things Kept my dad up at night They filled his head with terrible dread And No one knew why it happened Or if it could happen againContinue reading “Spontaneously Terrible Things”

Finally starting to feel up

I know I usually post a lot when I’m down but I was just too down last week. My birthday was just me choosing to be alone so I could nurse my mental wounds with Seagrams and Marlboros. I did get some money from my parents which turned into groceries. I finally felt like I’dContinue reading “Finally starting to feel up”

I apologize for the silence, so I’m gonna break it.

For some reason, this shitty thought floated through my head some hours ago. I was laying on my boyfriend’s lap while we watched Castlevania and a thought just… drifted into my head. I was feeling weary and my brain just says, “This would be a good time in your life if you died.” A vacantContinue reading “I apologize for the silence, so I’m gonna break it.”

I’m coming back.

I’ve mentally been who knows where and the feeling of normalcy and stability are returning. I apologize about the few days I’ve been away. Things have been a bit hectic because my schedule keeps doing almost-180s. I’m training for a different position at work and the schedule is 4:30am-12pm whereas my original schedule was 8:30am-2:30pm-ish.Continue reading “I’m coming back.”